Training an aggressive toddler with marbles

I have literally had this blog sitting in my draft section for 3 years lol I have no idea what took me so long...

***How to will be listed below in simple steps***

So, you have an aggressive child? Or maybe your babe is simply disobedient? Or maybe you're having problems getting your child to respond to your parenting? I've been there...

My son, Jake, was 3, going on 4, and for whatever reason, he was very aggressive and easily angered. He was 3, for one thing lol, which, in itself, is usually a hard age for any child. He or she is searching for independence, and sometimes anger and frustration comes out as an expression of not being able to do what he or she wants to do.

My sister in law, who was a preschool teacher for many years, gave me this idea, and it WORKED WONDERS! It took time, but Jake eventually responded VERY well to this positive reinforcement.

Here's how it works:

♡Take your child with you for supplies
♡Buy a clear jar, ribbon, and marbles
♡Take your child to a craft store, and buy a cardboard treasure box or something that can be drawn on and can also hold items
♡Go to the dollar store, and let your child pick 5 to 10 toys, small enough to fit in the treasure box
♡Go home and let your child color and design the treasure box how he wants.
♡Explain that for every good thing he does, or every time he listens, or every time he uses his words, he earns a marble.
♡Let him physically put the marble in the jar
♡Tie the ribbon around the jar just high enough so that the child has to earn enough marbles for his work and effort to mean something, but make it attainable
♡Once the marbles reach the ribbon, allow your child to pick a toy out of the treasure box
♡Optional: remove a marble or more, in child's presence, when extreme bad behavior is shown

At first, Jake got marbles for simple things such as saying thank you, please, or yes mommy. If he was nice to his sister, he would get one. I made a lot of excuses and found reasons at the beginning to encourage him. Eventually he started paying attention to his actions and that they had consequences. He went from being a strong willed and difficult child to a very sweet boy.

Test it out and please share with me how it worked for you ♡♡♡♡♡

Multitasking...

Is it just me, or do you also have trouble multitasking for long periods of time? 

As mothers, we are expected to run the house, run the children, run the errands, run the holidays, run the school projects and homework, and anything else that is thrown on top of that.  What about working moms? What about moms who go to school?

Four months ago, I joined Younique and became a presenter. Couldn't be happier with this company because it is an through and through wholesome cosmetic company (Visit my site anytime, Like my fb business page and email me with any questions). However, I've learned now how much more difficult life can be trying to manage and handle a million things. 

I already have 6 children to juggle, and now I'm learning how to market, stay on top of customer care, and run online parties or boutiques at events, as the holidays near. I feel like I either have time to do that and keep the kids alive,  or care for the kids and do the house chores, or run some errands and make dinner every night this week. I seem to never have the energy to complete everything.

The other day I filled out one of those fun surveys, naming something from A to Z about myself. 'J' stood for something I'm jealous about, and I said "the mom who has it all together." My friend said that she doesn't exist... but it sure seems like it to me sometimes. I feel like I'm the only one who can't keep a clean house or doesn't know how to check everything off her list each day, always playing catch up.

What are your techniques and tricks to get your list done each day? It's time for this momma to GET advice. Please leave any feedback in the comments :)

Middle Child Syndrome

When a child is acting out and someone makes the comment "oh, he's the middle child," people usually say, "oooooo," and accept the child's actions and that is that.  No more further explanation necessary.  Am I right?

I've been thinking about middle children lately... as I've been experiencing mine crying out for attention lately, like, MAJORLY crying out. It's been breaking my heart a little... ok, it's been breaking my heart a lot.

These poor kiddos... feeling lack of attention because the older ones need it for school.. while the younger ones require a ton of care and hands on. What happens to the middle child? My daughter, who is almost 5, is constantly bringing me gifts and telling me "you're the best mommy in the world! I love you mommy!" I have been internalizing this and beieve that, while my daughter truly is sweet in nature and very loving and giving, she is starving for me to do the same back to her. She needs me to gift her with things (maybe I should draw her a picture? Or give her a flower? Or offer her a sticker?) or tell her more frequently how much I love and appreciate her?

I'm trying to take this situation in as a learning experience... I need to be aware of what my kids are putting out so that I can truly see what they need for me to return. I know about the love languages and truly believe that people treat others with love the same way that they would love to receive it.

As a lot of this blog is an outlet for me to kind of gather my thoughts and feelings about my daughter,  I really think that all parents can take from this that we really need to be in tune with our children,  no matter their age. Especially when they've been acting out. We need to observe them and take in what they're doing and figure out what is prompting their behavior.

A child doesn't go through the terrible twos or threes because they just happened to hit an age where they're programmed to get rebellious or difficult... they're going through this stage because they're discovering independence and that they can make choices in their own lives. It is how we handle them when they act this way that makes the difference.

A child becomes the middle child by chance - middle child syndrome is created because this kiddo just happened to be the middle of the bunch, and it is unfortunate to experience being the baby of the family and then having it taken away.

I think that as much as it is difficult,  we need to react with love and patience and understanding when this middle child starts acting out and doing things that classfiy them as having MCS. I am going to look at my Hannah the way I did when she was born..  with awe and pure love. She may be having a hard time now, but she is so special and unique and wonderful... I must always remember this.

Looking out the window with her two younger siblings while the older kids are at school

It's my week!

Having a large family is a daily challenge. It takes great organization, patience, understanding, and the ability to shuffle and multi-task.

One issue we have come to deal with is making sure that all of our children get attention and feel special. It isn't their fault, after all, that we have so many kids, is it? We chose to have a bunch of kids, therefore it is also our responsibility to give each of them time to shine.

When I was a child, my parents started the "week system" when I was probably about 10. There are four of us, I'm the second, and they learned about this from some parenting class they took or book they read (not sure). The whole idea, basically, is to designate each week to highlight one child, and rotate through them. We took that and adapted it more specifically to our family.

Currently, out of our six kids, five of them each get their own week. Sarah, our 9 month old, is obviously too young and gets plenty of special attention as it is. Right now it is Hannah's week. She's our #4 child and is almost 5 years old.

What they get to do for their week, special:
--if given the choice, they get to choose:
  ~what's for dinner
  ~where to go out to eat
  ~what's for dessert
  ~which movie we watch
--If my husband or I go out to run an errand, that child gets to go with us.
--We try to buy at least one small thing for whoever has the week
  ~chapstick?
  ~stuffed animal?
  ~choice of bag of chip or candy bar?
  ~something else that's typically $5 or under
--If it comes to the choice of who goes first for whatever, this child is automatically first.
--We rotate them around the dinner table, whoever has the week gets to sit in the spot right next to me and the baby.
--this child gets to pray over dinner
--sometimes a special trip out to ice cream, lunch, etc

Basically, they shine for the whole week. We use it as an opportunity to spend quality time with each of the kids. They all look forward to when it is their week and learn to put others above themselves.

We have gone through cycles where, each Saturday, I would take the child out to lunch with just me. When that got too expensive, we changed what we were going to do. Sometimes it is as simple as taking a walk with just the one of us. My oldest has told me on several occasions how much he looks forward to being with just me or his daddy and how much he loves the special time.

The biggest issue we have faced with this is the kids feeling entitled. They have expected to go out or have us buy something for them, and that's when we have had to reel back and teach them about appreciation. With extreme behavior we have taken away special privileges to help them understand the severity of their punishment.


This technique has worked, all in all, tremendously for us. I recommend it for a family of 3 or more. It proves very well to be effective. It takes away the question of who's first and they understand that their turn is coming.

Try it out - I'd love to hear if it works for any other families out there :-)

God Sees Us

He doesn't see us as the old, bitter woman.
He doesn't see us as the sinful cheat or liar.
He doesn't see us as the unfaithful husband or wife.
He doesn't see us as the rebellious and disrespectful teenager.
He doesn't see us as the little boy with the horrible attitude.
He doesn't see us as the toddler who is disobeying over and over again.

No.

He sees us as the innocent infant who is looking up at her mother.
He sees us as the child who has full faith and trust in his daddy.
He sees us as the unscathed and perfect newborn.

God sees you. He sees you without your sins. He sees you with blinders to wrong.

You are His child.
You are his pride.

As the infant wakes and seeks comfort in his mother's arms, so must we seek Him.
He is safe, and he loves us with the undeniable love that a mother has for her baby.
He loves us with the same love that keeps a father going, working till his knuckles bleed, to provide for and protect that child.

You are loved, child of God.

You are loved

It could always be better, but it could also be worse...

As I pulled into home this morning, after dropping my older three off at school, I caught a glimpse of the pretty brick design that is in the center of my driveway. For some reason, it made me start thinking about how nice we have it in life.

I feel like a lot of people really take for granted the good things in life and never have a shortage of things to complain about. This includes myself. Seeing the pretty brick design, I thought... "How many people have a nice driveway? How many people even have a driveway? How many people have a nice house? How many people have a place to live?"

I could have a bigger house. I could have a perfectly organized and gorgeous home inside.  I could have every bit of my life picture perfect. I could have more things.  But it could be a whole lot worse,  don't you think?

It is chilly days like today, as I'm bundling up with my warm coat, when I think about the homeless. The honest-to-God homeless. The hungry children going to school. The dad tirelessly looking for work without any success. The defeated mother who feels torn between staying home with her children, or working, and giving them a Christmas this year. The family who is feverishly waiting for their child to make it through surgery this morning. My life really could be a whole lot worse and less convenient.

Mindset is a magical and very strong thing. Some things can't be changed,  but perception and positivity can make a difference in your life. Forgive your mom today. Renew the friendship and love you have for your brother. Let go of the grudge you have against your husband.  Reexamine yourself and honestly search for the things that you might be holding yourself back from.  Happiness is attainable, no matter the situation. Give more.  Become more selfless. It is so rewarding to focus on someone beyond yourself.

So ya... just thinking... things can always be better,  but they sure can always be worse.  Look at your life today and see the good things :-) I hope you have a blessed day!

Results from Micah's Heart Cath from last week

On Oct 9, Micah had a heart catherization  (angiogram) because his o2 level has dropped to a new low. He used to be around 81-83% oxygen,  but lately he has been hovering around 78% regularly.

The purpose of this procedure was to search around for a cause. They were not able to find anything, though. There wasn't anything blocking blood flow or any extra blood vessels carrying blood away from his lungs. In fact, there was actually an extra vessel carrying blood TO his lungs, which is doing nothing but helping.

The doctor said that the function on the left side of his heart (reminder: Micah's right heart does not function. He relies solely on his left side) is excellent. The pressures are fine and nothing that they could find is causing his o2 to drop. Micah will require a third open heart surgery, as we have known, and this lower o2 is just showing readiness for the operation. He won't be able to have it for a while, however, because he needs to be big enough. The doctors want him to be 30 pounds or so, and he is teetering between 24.5 and 25lbs.

I just got a call this morning from his main cardiologist, and he had a conference this past Friday with the cardiologist who performed the cath. They discussed the medications he is taking and decided that they want to completely take him off of one of them.  They said that it isn't having any effect on his o2 (it is supposed to be helping him use his available o2 more efficiently). They raised it from 3.7ml twice a day to 5.5ml three times a day before his angiogram, and it didn't change his o2 at all.

We are going to step him down and he will be completely off of it in 2 weeks. I'm nervous... next month will make two years of him being on it. I'm praying that it goes well and he is ok without it. He will continue to have his other medication twice a day, though. This is good news, though. Lesser medicine is always better than more, right?

As for the actual procedure,  it was a breeze.  We got there with no traffic (that's amazing when you're driving to Hollywood), and we checked in and got him processed without issues. They had me give him some medicine to relax him, and he was so loopy and relaxed, it was hilarious.  He told my husband that he had two eyes (reminded me of David After Dentist on youtube). At one point he was licking my tablet and putting his nose up against it lol he was super sweet and funny.

My husband and I were able to walk into the Cath lab and stayed with him until he was put under. He was in there for about 2 hours. One of my best friends stayed with our 6 month old in the waiting room, so we sat with her after she and I grabbed some breakfast.  The baby was extremely well behaved and the time flew by. Before we knew it, the doctor was walking in and we were hearing all this good news :)

While we were there, we got to meet a friend I made through a heart group I'm a part of who has an amazing heart journey of her own. She is 27 years old and has survived a plethora of open heart surgeries and operations. She has all three of the defects that Micah has, plus some others including her heart being on the right side of her body, upside down, and flipped! She is a true inspiration.  If I wasn't so wrapped up in what was going on with Micah at the time, I probably would have been completely overwhelmed by meeting her.  What a hero my son has to look up to! She met Micah before the end of the day.

When we got called back, Micah was a bit groggy at first, but he came out of the anesthesia well. They did an echo cardiogram to make sure that everything was fine post cath. Everything looked great and Micah cooperated with the tech.  We were able to load up into the car within 7 hours of getting there, I believe, and we got home with NO traffic. Again, that is amazing when you're leaving LA on a weekday at 230 in the afternoon.  God seriously had his hand on everything.  He is so good to us!

There is so much hope for our boy! Thank you to everyone who looked out and prayed for us. Micah has a bright future :)