Surgery # 3 is upon us...

** video message to Micah, my brave boy, below..

Well, everyone, it's right around the corner... my son's 3rd open heart surgery is almost here... Nov 30, 2016 is the day we have been waiting for, for about two years. Micah has finally gained enough weight and is officially a good candidate for the "Fontan" open heart surgery.

I think I talk about my son's heart condition so nonchalantly so often, that I'm actually a bit taken back by how I've been acting for almost a week. It's like the reality of his surgery has finally hit me...

I can now see the truth of this situation hitting me right smack in my own heart. Micah knows it's happening, and he's been so scared :( that, in itself, has been very hard. I don't blame God and I am not angry at him... But I do feel sadness for my boy.

I decided to record a message to Micah, for him to watch when he's older. I'll post an update after surgery is complete!

Put Yourself in Your Child's Shoes

How many of us have a difficult child? For those of you who have larger families.. how many of us have a few difficult kiddos? I know that I do. This has been on my mind a lot lately...

How should I approach this misbehavior, bad attitude, and short fuse that my child has? I found myself getting frustrated every single day, with my threshold for tolerance getting smaller. I anticipated the fits, back talk, and explosive behavior. I expected it to happen. And when it did, I was already on the verge of flipping out. Every day was a nightmare. I was losing compassion for my daughter. Some days, I started off already angry with her, and ready for her to mess up before I blew up. I was losing faith in her. I didn't think that she was going to behave or have a good day at all.

I was hating the person I was becoming. How is it possible to have so much disdain for a child that I carried for 9 months and gave birth to?

One day, this popped into my head... how would I want to be treated as a child? How would I hope and pray that my parents would react to any bad behavior or tendencies that I developed? I know that I would want forgiveness, understanding, and hope that my mom and dad would have patience with me.

I want to see my child the way that I would want to be seen. It is my job, as her mother, as the adult in the relationship, to be the bigger person - always. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and part of it is because we can't have any excuses when it comes to parenting the right way. We. Are. The. Adults. We need to be the ones held responsible when it comes to messing up. If we aren't, they're never going to learn. They're not going to develop properly.

There is still hope for them. Based on how we treat them, they will be able to get over their bad behaviors and not make it a permanent part of who they are, when they're adults. It is our job to nip bad behavior in the butt, and we need to do it the right way. Being angry, forceful, sarcastic, impatient, etc, will only cement their behavior. We need to take deep breaths, walk out of the room to calm down, cry in the corner, and then return, and deal with these children as the adults.

I'm saying this.. because I have been guilty of making sarcastic responses, raising my voice, and just showing the emotion I'm feeling. I have reflected on these actions of mine, and wonder how many times I made it more difficult for my daughter to improve herself when I've literally been acting out and reacting just as badly sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like my blogs are organized and laid out well, but I know this one is more of me just thinking outloud.

If you're reading this, and you have felt like a failure, then this is for you. Today is a new day. You don't have to continue in YOUR part of the cycle. It can start with you. Be the leader that you know you can be, and give your baby girl or baby boy, even if this child is a teenager, the chance that he or she needs today. Hug your child, even when it's hard. Ignore the past feelings and resist the urge to expect bad things today. And if your child acts out, try to respond lovingly. I know it's hard... but we can do this. There is hope for our children, and there is hope for us. <3

Simple and easy Lentil cheddar-potato Crockpot Soup

Hey everyone!!! Just a quick recipe for you to throw together in the morning and enjoy for dinner. Especially delicious for cold nights :)

Now, let me state - this is what I personally make for my family of 8 (2 adults and 6 kids 10 and under). Divide in half or adjust for your family *OR* just make a bunch and have food all week ;-)

Ingredients:

⭐Package of dry red lentils (I think it was around 3 cups?) rinsed
⭐2 cups diced onions (we pre-dice and freeze ours and I just poured out what I wanted)
⭐2 cups baby carrots
⭐1 heart of celery (I always use the leafy greens, too)
⭐3 large peeled and diced russet potatoes
⭐4 cups of chicken stock
⭐Water as necessary (I used about 3 cups this time)
⭐3 bay leaves
⭐to taste: onion salt (I probably did a few teaspoons), garlic powder (probably 2 TSP), and white pepper (1 TSP? Black pepper is fine).
⭐One package of ham lunch meat, cut up into bite size pieces
⭐A few cups of shredded cheddar cheese

Instructions:

Soooo easy!!! Ok here it goes - Chuck everything into your Crockpot except for the ham and cheese. Turn on low for 8 hours. Probably halfway through I stirred to make sure everything was combined. During the last 30 mins I added in the ham and cheese. Optional, serve with French or garlic bread :)

Halfway through. Stirred.

All finished!

Thanks for reading along. I hope you love it as much as we do! For something that has absolutely nothing to do with food, lol, follow my beauty page on fb and Instagram through my hashtags #beautybybeccab

Training an aggressive toddler with marbles

I have literally had this blog sitting in my draft section for 3 years lol I have no idea what took me so long...

***How to will be listed below in simple steps***

So, you have an aggressive child? Or maybe your babe is simply disobedient? Or maybe you're having problems getting your child to respond to your parenting? I've been there...

My son, Jake, was 3, going on 4, and for whatever reason, he was very aggressive and easily angered. He was 3, for one thing lol, which, in itself, is usually a hard age for any child. He or she is searching for independence, and sometimes anger and frustration comes out as an expression of not being able to do what he or she wants to do.

My sister in law, who was a preschool teacher for many years, gave me this idea, and it WORKED WONDERS! It took time, but Jake eventually responded VERY well to this positive reinforcement.

Here's how it works:

♡Take your child with you for supplies
♡Buy a clear jar, ribbon, and marbles
♡Take your child to a craft store, and buy a cardboard treasure box or something that can be drawn on and can also hold items
♡Go to the dollar store, and let your child pick 5 to 10 toys, small enough to fit in the treasure box
♡Go home and let your child color and design the treasure box how he wants.
♡Explain that for every good thing he does, or every time he listens, or every time he uses his words, he earns a marble.
♡Let him physically put the marble in the jar
♡Tie the ribbon around the jar just high enough so that the child has to earn enough marbles for his work and effort to mean something, but make it attainable
♡Once the marbles reach the ribbon, allow your child to pick a toy out of the treasure box
♡Optional: remove a marble or more, in child's presence, when extreme bad behavior is shown

At first, Jake got marbles for simple things such as saying thank you, please, or yes mommy. If he was nice to his sister, he would get one. I made a lot of excuses and found reasons at the beginning to encourage him. Eventually he started paying attention to his actions and that they had consequences. He went from being a strong willed and difficult child to a very sweet boy.

Test it out and please share with me how it worked for you ♡♡♡♡♡

Multitasking...

Is it just me, or do you also have trouble multitasking for long periods of time? 

As mothers, we are expected to run the house, run the children, run the errands, run the holidays, run the school projects and homework, and anything else that is thrown on top of that.  What about working moms? What about moms who go to school?

Four months ago, I joined Younique and became a presenter. Couldn't be happier with this company because it is an through and through wholesome cosmetic company (Visit my site anytime, Like my fb business page and email me with any questions). However, I've learned now how much more difficult life can be trying to manage and handle a million things. 

I already have 6 children to juggle, and now I'm learning how to market, stay on top of customer care, and run online parties or boutiques at events, as the holidays near. I feel like I either have time to do that and keep the kids alive,  or care for the kids and do the house chores, or run some errands and make dinner every night this week. I seem to never have the energy to complete everything.

The other day I filled out one of those fun surveys, naming something from A to Z about myself. 'J' stood for something I'm jealous about, and I said "the mom who has it all together." My friend said that she doesn't exist... but it sure seems like it to me sometimes. I feel like I'm the only one who can't keep a clean house or doesn't know how to check everything off her list each day, always playing catch up.

What are your techniques and tricks to get your list done each day? It's time for this momma to GET advice. Please leave any feedback in the comments :)

Middle Child Syndrome

When a child is acting out and someone makes the comment "oh, he's the middle child," people usually say, "oooooo," and accept the child's actions and that is that.  No more further explanation necessary.  Am I right?

I've been thinking about middle children lately... as I've been experiencing mine crying out for attention lately, like, MAJORLY crying out. It's been breaking my heart a little... ok, it's been breaking my heart a lot.

These poor kiddos... feeling lack of attention because the older ones need it for school.. while the younger ones require a ton of care and hands on. What happens to the middle child? My daughter, who is almost 5, is constantly bringing me gifts and telling me "you're the best mommy in the world! I love you mommy!" I have been internalizing this and beieve that, while my daughter truly is sweet in nature and very loving and giving, she is starving for me to do the same back to her. She needs me to gift her with things (maybe I should draw her a picture? Or give her a flower? Or offer her a sticker?) or tell her more frequently how much I love and appreciate her?

I'm trying to take this situation in as a learning experience... I need to be aware of what my kids are putting out so that I can truly see what they need for me to return. I know about the love languages and truly believe that people treat others with love the same way that they would love to receive it.

As a lot of this blog is an outlet for me to kind of gather my thoughts and feelings about my daughter,  I really think that all parents can take from this that we really need to be in tune with our children,  no matter their age. Especially when they've been acting out. We need to observe them and take in what they're doing and figure out what is prompting their behavior.

A child doesn't go through the terrible twos or threes because they just happened to hit an age where they're programmed to get rebellious or difficult... they're going through this stage because they're discovering independence and that they can make choices in their own lives. It is how we handle them when they act this way that makes the difference.

A child becomes the middle child by chance - middle child syndrome is created because this kiddo just happened to be the middle of the bunch, and it is unfortunate to experience being the baby of the family and then having it taken away.

I think that as much as it is difficult,  we need to react with love and patience and understanding when this middle child starts acting out and doing things that classfiy them as having MCS. I am going to look at my Hannah the way I did when she was born..  with awe and pure love. She may be having a hard time now, but she is so special and unique and wonderful... I must always remember this.

Looking out the window with her two younger siblings while the older kids are at school

It's my week!

Having a large family is a daily challenge. It takes great organization, patience, understanding, and the ability to shuffle and multi-task.

One issue we have come to deal with is making sure that all of our children get attention and feel special. It isn't their fault, after all, that we have so many kids, is it? We chose to have a bunch of kids, therefore it is also our responsibility to give each of them time to shine.

When I was a child, my parents started the "week system" when I was probably about 10. There are four of us, I'm the second, and they learned about this from some parenting class they took or book they read (not sure). The whole idea, basically, is to designate each week to highlight one child, and rotate through them. We took that and adapted it more specifically to our family.

Currently, out of our six kids, five of them each get their own week. Sarah, our 9 month old, is obviously too young and gets plenty of special attention as it is. Right now it is Hannah's week. She's our #4 child and is almost 5 years old.

What they get to do for their week, special:
--if given the choice, they get to choose:
  ~what's for dinner
  ~where to go out to eat
  ~what's for dessert
  ~which movie we watch
--If my husband or I go out to run an errand, that child gets to go with us.
--We try to buy at least one small thing for whoever has the week
  ~chapstick?
  ~stuffed animal?
  ~choice of bag of chip or candy bar?
  ~something else that's typically $5 or under
--If it comes to the choice of who goes first for whatever, this child is automatically first.
--We rotate them around the dinner table, whoever has the week gets to sit in the spot right next to me and the baby.
--this child gets to pray over dinner
--sometimes a special trip out to ice cream, lunch, etc

Basically, they shine for the whole week. We use it as an opportunity to spend quality time with each of the kids. They all look forward to when it is their week and learn to put others above themselves.

We have gone through cycles where, each Saturday, I would take the child out to lunch with just me. When that got too expensive, we changed what we were going to do. Sometimes it is as simple as taking a walk with just the one of us. My oldest has told me on several occasions how much he looks forward to being with just me or his daddy and how much he loves the special time.

The biggest issue we have faced with this is the kids feeling entitled. They have expected to go out or have us buy something for them, and that's when we have had to reel back and teach them about appreciation. With extreme behavior we have taken away special privileges to help them understand the severity of their punishment.


This technique has worked, all in all, tremendously for us. I recommend it for a family of 3 or more. It proves very well to be effective. It takes away the question of who's first and they understand that their turn is coming.

Try it out - I'd love to hear if it works for any other families out there :-)