I found the secret to losing weight!!!!

Ok... are you ready for this? The true secret to losing weight is....

YOUR DECISION to do so!

You think all those other scams out there are the real deal? Perhaps they have cool tips and ways to lose weight.. but the truth is that the ONLY WAY you will lose weight is if you have 100% decided to do it.

That means NO more excuses, that means NO more delays, that means NO more saying NO!

I have been a mother for 6 1/2 years and, therefore, got pregnant over 7 years ago. I used to be thin, young and pretty (lol).

Just before I turned 18 and a year before I
got pregnant with my first

 

 

 

Now, 7+ years and 5 kids later (kinda freaks me out every time I state how many children I've had in such a short time haha what the heck is THIS chick thinking having so many kids, so young, so quickly?! Oh crap! It's me!!!!), my body is unrecognizable.

My husband used to serve in the military, so he is no foreigner to the gym and being in shape. Let me tell you - going from that ^^^^ up there to the blob I turned into damaged me in more ways that I had imagined possible.

"I'm strong willed and strong minded, nothing will take me down. I'm overweight? Eh.. I'm alright. I still feel confident in myself." --- yes... not so true after years of feeling trapped in the body that I wish was a fat suit I could strip off.

My fifth babe is four months old now, and as SOON as I got the clear to workout (two months after he was born and, therefore, two months after my c-section) I decided to start working my way toward the old-young me - ha!

At first I would workout a few days a week and I started eating really well - cutting down my calories to 1500-1700/day. I also started using this amazing app called Lose It! through my phone - which is free. I used it before I got pregnant with Micah and lost 9 pounds in three weeks. At the third week mark I got pregnant lol

Anyway - life started getting in the way (I do have five kids, after all, including an infant with a major heart defect). After my oldest went back to school and I was going from doctor appt to doctor appt for my baby, to eye doc appt for one of my twins, to getting my son's schooling on track and in control, to just being a MOM and housewife, in general - let's just say that life got busy! I went for a week without working out, then almost two, then another week! I had only worked out like three or four times in one month... And I was staying the same weight :(

That is when I discovered this miraculous secret. The answer to all!

I was going to get in shape no matter how tired I was, not matter how long my day was, no matter HOW LATE it was - I WAS GOING TO WORKOUT AND DO IT - coupled with eating better meals and limiting my caloric intake (since this is getting long, I'll make another blog soon about what foods you should eat, how to gauge what you're eating, and other tips to realistically CHANGE your eating habits).

I made the decision on Sept 23 that I was going to workout every day for 30 days. Even though I knew that it would be almost impossible to do it EVERY single day... I still wanted to make it a goal. I have worked out 18 times out of the past 26 days. Yes, I've missed 8 workouts. Some have been due to injuries (lol I got shin splints woot woot - finally feeling better today), others have been due to sheer exhaustion (I am also nursing a baby, exclusively, and have my five kiddos to take care of, and there have been a few nights where it hits 11 and I have JUST gotten the baby down and am just simply too exhausted to workout), but I will tell you that this whole mindset and determination has changed me.

Tomorrow I WILL workout. I will make it happen! I have taken 3 days off in a row, and refuse to take another.

Like I keep saying - the TRUTH is, the secret to losing weight is YOUR decision. Are you fed up with being.. well, I'll say it - fat? Are you sick of sitting up and feeling uncomfortable in your own skin because of the stomach SITTING in your lap? Yep- I've cried maaany times about that :-/

Are you sick of seeing pictures of yourself and wanting to rip them to shreds or delete them when you see yourself? I've gotten rid of so many pics, even if they had images of my children in them, cuz I couldn't stomach looking at myself anymore.

For the first time in a couple YEARS I fit my old pants! My other clothes are starting to slide off me... and I haven't felt this good in..... forever!

It's made me apologize to my husband for looking the way I did because HE had to stay loyal and faithful to me - his giant wife. Thank you, honey, by the way... thank you for really, truly loving ME. Cuz I have still been here, inside this suit, the whole time.

I'm down 15-16 pounds so far (in the pic below), and am going to keep pushing! I have at LEAST 40 pounds to go.. But it is going to be so worth it!

NO MORE EXCUSES!!!! NO MORE! I am not going to be a victim anymore!!!!

So! Come and join me - make the decision to change YOUR life, your body, your world
- today :)

Be who you are... unless I don't like it!!!!

That's right!!! Embrace yourself!!!

Exceeeeeept... you are probably a terrible and judgmental person if you are not like me!

Right?

This is how I feel about the pressures of our media and the rhythm that this country is beating its chest to.

It is almost like we are told to express ourselves.. but don't really! We still need to fit into whatever box we are told to squeeze into.

I feel like things are more conflicting than ever.

Who are we trying to please here? Before we know it, the only people who will be accepted are those who fit into the taboo fields and are desiring acceptance... and then "normal" society will then become the odd people, trying to fit in.

How many more of these "I love people with tattoos" groups am I going to have to keep seeing. It's weird, it's like a movement or something. I personally don't like tattoos and will not get one for myself BUT most of my friends have at least one. They have them, I don't. There is not discussion about it negatively, and when they get one I tell them I think it's pretty or cool.

But a movement - really?

I feel like people are going out of their way to go OUTSIDE the box and then stand on a soap box SCREAMING for me to conform to them orrrrrrrrr judging me for not being like them. Or even WORSE - accusing me of judging THEM!

I have my opinions about tattoos for myself, personally, or about getting a billion piercings and altering my skin, or maybe even about what food I eat (yes, I know... I can't believe it... I.. EAT....... MEAT!!!!!!!), but I am not passing judgement or disrespect on people who are different than me.

I appreciate you for who you are. BE who you are. Stop doing things to get attention. Stop being different JUST to be different. If you like tattoos, go get them. If you like meat, eat it. If you prefer veganism, refrain from meat and animal products.

Give me your opinion. Tell me what you believe. I love hearing what people have to say and what they think and I find interest in hearing when people have thoughts that are the complete opposite of me... but let's be peaceful :)

What would this world be without diversity, after all?

Please, baby, let me hear you breathe

You know when your baby was first born and you checked on him every five seconds to make sure that he was breathing when it was night time? Some nights I have moments of worry about my baby boy (the one who has a heart defect). I will lie there (completely exhausted) and the thought will pop into my head...

What if he isn't breathing? What if he just had cardiac arrest and isn't... alive... anymore? I know, it's terrible to think that way... That's when I sit still and start praying, "please God, let me hear him breathe or move... Come on baby boy - let me hear you breathe!" Most of the time that I pray that, I hear my baby (and my other kids, when they were little) suddenly move or rustle around a little.

I still check on each of my kids, every night, before I head off to sleep. Every night I make sure they're covered and sleeping comfortably, and then head to bed.

Wouldn't it be funny if OUR parents still checked if we were breathing? lol I can just imagine our parents having spy cameras set up or secret heart monitors in our beds to make sure we're still breathing in the middle of the night lol I know I'M gonna do that to MY kids when they move out >: ) mwa ha ha ha

It's such a random thought... but I thought.. ahem.. (woot repetitive!!!) that it would be aiiiight to write about. Wow I'm a poet and I didn't even... realize it (thank you, Joel McHale).

Creativity peaks when it's time to sleep

I, for one, am not a very creative person. I am not one of those awesome mommies who can come up with genius arts and crafts and make magic out of nothing. I can think of a few who I really admire (Michelle C. is one). It's like everything she touches turns to gold!

Me?

Um... here kids - a piece of PAPER that you can draw CIRCLES on and I will totally write your name so you can outline it! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!

When it comes to personal things like writing or painting, I'm not very creative either. I am seriously so impressed by people who can come up with crazy story lines or beautiful artistic masterpieces filled with colors and designs.

But there is this one time of the day when my creative juices start flowing... and that's at night! Yes - I can probably come up with solutions to end the problems of the world, AND design you your dream home while writing a Best Selling Novel ALLLL at the same time! ALL at night - when I can't actually do anything!

It's like my body is saying.... ok now that it's time to rest, let's turn on our brain and figure some stuff out! Let's make things work, fix problems, branch out and create create create!!!

Anyone else have this happen to them? lol

I'm pretty sure it's common for us to go through the events of the days while we're lying there, trying to go to bed. I bet that when our minds are occupied with the desperation of simply surviving the day, I guess there isn't much room to come up with a plan to fight world hunger or create a solution to NEVER LOSING ANOTHER SOCK AGAIN AND ALWAYS KEEPING SOCKS MATCHED (sorry - I have issues with socks... lol).

But to my friends who are so resourceful and creative during LIVING hours - I applaud you! This mommy has mommy brain allllllllllllllll the day long until it's just too late to do anything useful!

Tear me in half, please!!!!!

Well here it is - my kids are all sick... AGAIN! The other night I took my second youngest (2) upstairs with me because she was just starting the feel under the weather (and everyone else was still healthy at this point). I have had the policy that whoever is sick can sleep in bed with me so I can take care of them.

Well... by the time it was a few hours into her lying next to me, I noticed that she was sounding really bad. Almost sounded like croup for a moment there (don't think it is, though, cuz she no longer sounded like a seal barking, past that night) and I started worrying...

I CANNOT allow my baby (almost 4 months) to get sick. He's the one with the heart problem, and if he gets sick - ESPECIALLY with something respiratory related - he could come down with pneumonia which is very life-threatening to him.

I started crying as I realized that I was going to have to take Hannah, my sweet, sick little baby, downstairs and out of the same room as my infant :( All I wanted to do was hug and cuddle her, give her comfort, and make her feel better. I'm mommy - that's my job! But I couldn't... I had to make the decision that it was more critical for me to protect my baby boy from being exposed to the illness.

"TEAR ME IN HALF, PLEASE!!!!" I was crying to my husband on the phone (he's a night worker)... I wanted to keep my son safe but also be able to take care of my little sickling...

Do you ever feel like this?

Mommies seem to be called to multiple places and to do many things at once... and we are DARN good at it. But it breaks our hearts when we simply cannot do everything at the same time.

I came to peace with my decision and fell asleep praying for protection over Micah and to make Hannah feel better. I prayed that this bug would pass quickly...

My other three (Jacob 6, Leah and Lily 4) all have it now, but so far little boy seems alright. A little sniffly here and there... but his lungs sound clear so far.

Oh the balancing acts that us mothers of multiple children must perform!

And as I look for comfort, I remember that "this, too, shall pass!"

Hannah and Micah last week :)

Cook, feed, clean, dishes, bills... me.. ?!

How ironic is this? I created the idea for this post on Aug 27 and didn't have enough time to actually write it till now - almost a month later haha

As a mother, I feel so stretched thin sometimes. My day is never just a "nothing" day or relaxing all the way through. My laziest of days still require me to feed three meals to my older four, tidy up enough to make it liveable (lol), help with a toddler with potty training (and in a lot of cases, changing or cleaning her messes), nursing a baby 7 times and changing him just as many, entertaining the kids for about 12 hours, and being the referee all day. That is my LAZIEST day.

A pic from one of the first days that Jake had back to school

A normal day? Everything listed above plus doing the dishes, laundry, cleaning up messes throughout the day, and being more active with the kids (i.e. taking them on walks when it isn't too hot). Bills and financial issues are also dealt with, including budgeting for grocery shopping and actually going out and doing it (today, for example, I took the older four with me to Ralph's - OH MY LANTA!!!!).

This is what happens when I get behind for a few days, literally

Today was really busy... Jake (6) didn't have school but I did have his parent teacher conference in the afternoon.
****really proud of him by the way - he is doing very well and she has no concerns. She says he is a very hard worker and doesn't stop working until he's finished. Sometimes the other kids will stop when others do but not Jake. He works works works. She also said he is the nicest and sweetest kid. I couldn't be more proud :)!!!!****
I went over to Walmart to return something and buy a new purse (10 bucks heck yes! I'm cheap haha), a beard trimmer for my husband, and a strapless bra. I drove over to the gas station to fill my husband's car up and was about to go shopping when I got a text that he was going nuts and needed me home NOW! The poor guy had just worked the night shift and was exhausted... So I rushed home, fed the baby, got the older kids ready, and then it was off BACK to Walmart cuz the bra didn't fit - yay!

A few fits and wandering children later, we were back in my burning hot car, driving to Ralph's. That shopping trip was not fun. Hannah (2) thought it was funny to keep running off so that Jake (6) would chase after her, screaming. Lily (4) kept going alllll over the place... but Leah (4) was really well behaved. THANK YOU! At least one listened yaaaay! I was so excited to get the H out of there man! When I got home I threw together dinner, nursed the baby, and then got the kids ready for bed.

lol a random night. The dark pink is Leah, the green
in the middle to the left is Hannah, and the light pink is Lily

It took a while for the kids to unwind and get to sleep... but once they were out, I had to get baby boy down for the night. He didn't feel like cooperating tonight lol Took an hour and a half. I was able to run out and grab some sushi for me and my husband, though, in between rocking Micah (3 1/2 months) and feeding him, and made ANOTHER trip to to the grocery store (this time Albertsons) while I was out.

Once I got baby boy to sleep, I was able to workout on the elliptical for a little over a half hour, and then shower. I came down and folded some laundry for 20 mins and now here I am! YAY!

32 down from Micah's pregnancy weight and bout
45 pounds to go till I'm at my goal weight!

I guess that my workout can be considered "me time" but man... what about relaxing?! What about sitting my butt down to listen to music or talk to some people? Throughout the day I go on Facebook on my phone and talk to people, but it is ALWAYS while I'm doing other things. It's not like I'm just sitting there, zoning out. I always have an ear out for any brawls my kids are having.

I feel like mothers tend to forget about themselves as individuals a lot of the time. It is so rush, rush, rush, that we are too exhausted to do anything just for us... I got caught up in that for a while and started freaking out. A lot of the time I lose sleep just for the sake of being awake - all by myself - and having a moment of clarity (for example, right now - it is 2:20am and tomorrow I'm going to be feeling this poor decision lol but at least I got to write!).

As hard as it is... we NEED to make sure we leave time for ourselves. We have to find sitters (or husbands ;) haha) to watch the kids so we can go out for a few hours and eat dinner with friends - or go to a comedy club! I was able to do that a few weeks ago with some friends and it was AMAZING! It was really weird being "Becca" instead of just mommy for a night. It's like I'm ALWAYS looking for someone to help or something to do because I'm always in that mode.

And lucky to the guys who work and come home and have two days off and vacation time and holidays. Mothers don't get that! We work HARDER on holidays with organizing everything and making memories for our families. And days off? Forget about it! Really! It will never happen lol

What will get us through this tough season of motherhood? 

• First of all... remember that our babies will grow up and be big and independent before we know it
• Second, when the time does come, we will have the rest of our lives to be "us" and find ourselves.
• One day at a time is a good mind-set.
• TAKE DAYS TO REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE A LADY and you existed before your children!

Being a mom is awesome - but don't go crazy! Keep yourself healthy physically (working out has done wonders for me with my motivation in other areas of my life) and mentally. And if you aren't feeling ok then go talk to someone! Heck - talk to me!

Side note - if anyone ever needs to vent then feel free to comment. I will write back and want to be "here" to people looking for help. I'm not psych major... but I am a mother major :) In fact, I should be getting my masters soon, right? 6 1/2 years in! lol :)

How do you spend your "you" time?

Micah had a procedure done Sept 18

On Tuesday, this week, Micah (now 15 weeks old) went in and had an angiogram. 

They inserted a catheter in the right side of his groin into a vein (instead of his main artery - and this is a good thing because it left less room for bleeding and complications) and got it up into his heart. The doctors said that they had no trouble getting it in there and that they were able to maneuver around his heart with ease :)

The purpose of this procedure was to get pictures inside his heart so that there are no surprises for his next surgery. They were able to see in there clearly and the shunt and pulmonary band (placed in there during his first open heart to facilitate blood flow from his heart to his lungs) are functioning perfectly and, therefore, there is no rush to do the second surgery next week or something.

My husband and I were able to go in the operating room with him, and hold his hand until he was put under with anesthesia through a mask. I was able to kiss him goodbye and then walked over to wait in his little recovery area. He was only out for about an hour and a half and was rolled over to us about 30 mins later. He was already waking up before he got over to us :)

Baby boy was pretty groggy from the anesthesia, but he did very well. I was able to pick him up soon after he was brought out, and I didn't put him down for five hours lol I held him, comforted him, (FINALLY) fed him (I didn't nurse him for 8 hours and was sooooo engorged. Sorry if it's TMI but I thought I was gonna explode!!!), slept with him on my chest for a while, and didn't put him down till it was time to change him :)

Micah's throat was pretty sore (and still is) from the ventilator, and he got kinda congested and still has some phlegm in his chest, but beside that he is doing very well! He has been pretty sleepy today, but he's been happy when he's been awake :)

On Friday the cardiologists and surgeon will be having a conference to determine when his surgery will be scheduled. It will most likely happen close to 6 months (which is the beginning of Dec) but could happen in Nov.

I am so proud of my baby. For a little 15 week old, he has amazing strength. He has been through things far beyond what I have and still smiles through it. The innocence of a child is such a blessing. So pure.

This was the night before his procedure.
Wanted to hug him tightly and enjoy some quiet time with him

Life - and even more so, God - is amazing.