I've been thinking about middle children lately... as I've been experiencing mine crying out for attention lately, like, MAJORLY crying out. It's been breaking my heart a little... ok, it's been breaking my heart a lot.
These poor kiddos... feeling lack of attention because the older ones need it for school.. while the younger ones require a ton of care and hands on. What happens to the middle child? My daughter, who is almost 5, is constantly bringing me gifts and telling me "you're the best mommy in the world! I love you mommy!" I have been internalizing this and beieve that, while my daughter truly is sweet in nature and very loving and giving, she is starving for me to do the same back to her. She needs me to gift her with things (maybe I should draw her a picture? Or give her a flower? Or offer her a sticker?) or tell her more frequently how much I love and appreciate her?
I'm trying to take this situation in as a learning experience... I need to be aware of what my kids are putting out so that I can truly see what they need for me to return. I know about the love languages and truly believe that people treat others with love the same way that they would love to receive it.
As a lot of this blog is an outlet for me to kind of gather my thoughts and feelings about my daughter, I really think that all parents can take from this that we really need to be in tune with our children, no matter their age. Especially when they've been acting out. We need to observe them and take in what they're doing and figure out what is prompting their behavior.
A child doesn't go through the terrible twos or threes because they just happened to hit an age where they're programmed to get rebellious or difficult... they're going through this stage because they're discovering independence and that they can make choices in their own lives. It is how we handle them when they act this way that makes the difference.
A child becomes the middle child by chance - middle child syndrome is created because this kiddo just happened to be the middle of the bunch, and it is unfortunate to experience being the baby of the family and then having it taken away.
I think that as much as it is difficult, we need to react with love and patience and understanding when this middle child starts acting out and doing things that classfiy them as having MCS. I am going to look at my Hannah the way I did when she was born.. with awe and pure love. She may be having a hard time now, but she is so special and unique and wonderful... I must always remember this.
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| Looking out the window with her two younger siblings while the older kids are at school |
