Schedule Regular Meetings... With Your Spouse

I am regularly asked "how do you do it" ("It" being raising these kids, successfuly). I'm not going to lie even for a second and take all of the credit.  A big reason for being able to even remotely "do it" is because I have an amazing husband who is an outstanding father.  Seriously.  My husband loves these kids with everything that he has, and is so supportive to me and all that I come with. I'm blessed and so fortunate to have him when I am not doing such a stand up job with parenting or I'm having a bad moment, day, week...  or longer.

Something useful I can offer up, however, can apply to anyone. Whether you're in the same situation I am, or you're single, or you're somewhere in between.

Now, this entry is is about scheduling meetings with your spouse,  but if you don't have one, then I recommend putting time aside for your best friend or parent or sibling - basically, someone who you're willing to be brutally honest with and open to hearing some constructive criticism from. Make sure it is someone who really knows you and sees how you parent.  But for this example, I will use a husband and wife situation.

My husband and I like to go over our parenting.  How are we succeeding, currently,  and how are we failing?  Are we being too lenient in specific circumstances? Are we being too hard on the kids? Is one acting out and are we handling it the right way? Basically, are we doing the right things?

Examples :

"Honey,  I've noticed that Leah is really seeking attention lately. She is constantly announcing that she just cleaned something and that she is behaving well. Are we not showing her enough attention?  How can we make her feel loved?"

   Or

"Jake really seems to be getting frustrated lately very easily. We need to find out what is going on under the surface.  Is he having trouble at school?  With homework?  Or do you think he feels unheard, here?"

   Also

"Someone just told me that they were impressed with how loving our kids are with each other and how respectful they are. It looks like, when all is said and done, that we must be doing something right."

We will go over each child and gauge each situation.  We have 6 kids, so we have a lot of moving parts. It is really easy to slip out of good grooves when our situations change (our 5th just had a heart procedure a few days ago, for example,  and the stress that came with that clearly changed how each of us was parenting and how the children were behaving).

Having a family is not scientific,  but it is unique and unpredictable.  When you evaluate your parenting,  you open up the door to change. We are unable to always perform the way we want,  and these little meetings really give us the tools to tweak our flaws and get back on track.

I highly recommend deeply looking into your parenting and looking ahead to what kind of effects your parenting will have in the future. We have the responsibility and owe it to our kids to raise them the very best that we can. It's our duty to sharpen our tools as much as we can so that they have the most potential for successful lives as adults.

So grab a pen and schedule a time in your calendar.  And do it frequently. You will be grateful that you do.