Adjust them to their new sibling and yourself to more than one babe!

When it comes to having a second child, a lot of mothers are worried that their first born isn't going to adjust to his or her new sibling. Is the new baby going to cause jealousy? How do I split up myself into "enough" for both kids? What if my child doesn't like his (or her) new sibling?

When I was pregnant with my second (and third - turned out to be twins), I thought about all of this, too. I had so much love for my son and didn't know how I would possibly separate my love into three for the girls and my son. I didn't want him to feel left out. So I came up with a technique and it worked. It absolutely worked!

When I was pregnant with each additional pregnancy to Jacob, I always referred to the baby as "his" baby. I gave him ownership. Every time I would talk about the pregnancy I would say "oh! Your baby is going to be here, soon!" or "I cannot wait for you to meet him. He is going to need you!" I made it as positive as possible. Every time I had another baby, my kids were very excited.

Keep your child involved. Keep him looking forward to the baby. And when the baby does arrive... continue to "require" his help and give him a crucial position in the baby's life.

• Make it his job to get things like the diapers or wipes
• Have your child throw out the diaper (I literally say, "who wants to throw this out for me?" and the kids will run up and say "meeeee!")
• Tell your child how much your baby needs him
• Explain to your child how the baby will view him as her hero. I've explained it to my kids that each child next in line will look up to the older one and love and admire him and that they have a lot of responsibility. I did not make this a bad thing, though. Always ALWAYS be positive.

I've found that if a child feels necessary and important, and not like he's being pushed out for the new one, that things go smoothly. My son literally did not get jealous of the twins for the first time till they were 9 months, and that was only cuz he was starting a new phase for himself. Lovely loooovely three's... seriously - worse than the 2's.

Now for YOU!

How are you going to handle two as opposed to one? As for the "love" part of it all - love is infinite and will expand as your family does. If you think that you cannot possibly love anyone as much as your first, you will discover that it is simply not true with your second. The love that we experience for our children is mind-boggling (or mind-bottling as a character said in Blades of Glory lol). The love for a child is incomparable to any other love that we have.

Now, regarding how we split ourselves up between the two children... adjustment takes time and everyone's case is a little bit different. The similarity, however, that I can help you with, is this: Your attitude makes a difference. If you are calm and try thinking through things, it is going to help you far beyond being worried or panicking. It WILL be difficult at first. Entering into the life of a family of multiple children is going to be just as individual as each of your children will be...

You may end up with a very relaxed newborn and the adjustment will be easier. You can't really avoid being tired at first because all babies need to be fed around the clock, as you already know. But keep one thing in mind - do not forget your first born. Always welcome your child with enthusiasm and remember: KEEP YOUR FIRST BORN INVOLVED.

You will figure out how to schedule things and you will get into a rhythm. Like I said, though, your attitude will make a difference. Expect there to be the adjustment struggle. Expect for things to not go perfectly. If you can accept the fact that you are not going to be fully in control, you will have it easier with gaining control. You are mommy - you are the ruler of your babes. Don't let them control you. They need you to take control of them and give them direction.

When it comes to a new baby, there will be a lot of excitement, a bit of curiosity because of the unknown, and a lot to prepare for... but it is completely doable and doable in a good way.

If you have more specific questions, please comment them below. I can see if I can help.