I remember back when I had Jake that it seemed like such a struggle, but I always knew I wanted a big family. I decided when I was in kindergarten that I was going to have four (and I did have four.. just added another to it for good measure ;) haha). But when Jake was here... I was like, "Woah! How in the world am I going to have three more kids?! This is tough!"
Truth is, I believe that the difficulty fluctuates with five kids but, in the end, it's actually easier to have multiple children versus just one. With Jake it was just me and him, all the time... ALL. THE. TIME. I was his one - and only - playmate. Don't get me wrong, he was my little buddy and I loved being with him, but I felt like he needed someone to grow up with. I could never imagine my life without my three siblings. My brothers and sister are some of the most important and amazing people in my life. I am so grateful for them and that my parents decided to have the four of us :)
Anyway, when it comes to the dynamic of a bunch of children, I look at it as a group that can learn to function with each other. I treat them and love them both as individuals and as a whole. The biggest saving grace for me is the schedule and routine. Now, things do not need to be military-standard and strict, but if there is a good foundation for your daily schedule then things will fall into place naturally.
With kids, it is not wise to see where the wind takes you on a daily basis. It's ok to have those days when things get out of sequence or skipped, but in general, it's good to have a few things done every day in a certain order.
Here is what my day typically looks like:
- Kids wake up
- Have them use the bathroom/change any diapers
- Feed them breakfast
- Play time
- Snack time
- Play more
- Lunch
- Nap
- Play
- Dinner
- Bath/brush teeth get ready for bed
- Bed
- story time
- coloring inside with crayons/markers
- color outside with paint or chalk
- go to the park
- take walks
- let them go have free time to play with their bazillion toys
- encourage dress-up or play time with the little kitchen
- turn on music and let them dance
- invite friends over to have play time
As we have heard these wise words before, take life one step and one day at a time. The same goes with kids: Take it one child as a time. With every child, adjustment will be natural and the fear that you have will go away. I will write a blog on the adjustment to a new baby and a new sibling in a future blog... I have successfully used some techniques that worked with avoiding jealousy.
In addition to keeping a normal schedule, to "do it" successfully with five (or more than one) children, multitasking is necessary. You need to have the capacity to think about more than one thing at the same time and follow up on several things happening all at once. While I am making dinner I am also, often, rocking my infant in his bouncer with my foot. On top of that I am managing the kids and their behavior. Thank goodness children learn their boundaries better as they get older... but currently I have to keep an ear out for my 2 year old who is ABSOLUTELY DRIVING ME CRAZY! She got into the freezer last night when she was supposed to be in bed and I caught her putting her hand in the toilet this afternoon after church. Anyway.... The point is, yes.. there is a certain level of multitasking required.
A lot of the time I find myself being able to do whatever I want (right now I'm writing this while the kids have been playing and are now getting ready for their naps), although mommy-mode never shuts off ;) One time, in the middle of writing this, I had to grab Lily (one of the 4 year olds) because she dropped something heavy on her foot. I iced her up and put her next to me. There is also a level of refereeing that I am required to do, lol, because these kids are either best friends or the biggest enemies - but that's completely normal.
In the end, I personally would prefer to deal with the hard time of multitasking and dealing with mini-battles in my home for the sake of my children being able to grow up with siblings and have best friends for the rest of their lives. I understand that a lot of people cannot have more than one - so there is no judgement to those who cannot... But since I had the ability to do so, I would do it all over an infinite amount of times.
Sometimes you will have days that seem endless... but when they do end.. you sit back with a smile on your face and say, "Wow.. I love my life and I love my kids!"
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